Teach Them All Virtues By Example

An Address To Those Who Have The Care of Children (Part 2)

Published Tract Association of Friends of Philadelphia, 1832 (but cannot be quite sure that it is not 1882)

If children come to you from harsh parents, and you are gentle and good-natured to them, they will love you, and all you teach for your sake. If from tender parents, and you are harsh, they will hate you, and every thing you teach them. The more defects you show, the fewer can you correct; to be masters of others, we must be so of ourselves. Let them experience, that a meek and quiet spirit is of great price; teach them all virtues by example: your wisdom must be from above, first pure, then gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good works, without partiality, without hypocrisy. Inculcate, that to be honorable, they must be useful: that no employment Is mean that is of use: set before them our Lord’s example, who washed his Apostles’ feet, and commanded us to do the same to each other.

My reflections on this excerpt:

Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves when we are with those who are different from us. We learn about ourselves in these moments in away that we can’t learn if we are only surrounded by sameness. I currently teach college and am away from the Friends School environment. And as I continue my quest to understand what makes a Friends School a Friends School, I find that my experiences at non-Quaker schools add to my understanding. For instance, in conversations recently with my colleagues I often find differences in our understanding of the role of teacher. I believe firmly that learning is a joint process and that the best way to teach virtues is by example, whereas my colleagues feel that there should be distance between teacher and student in order for authority to be established. I find it essential for my students to see my as a person and to develop a teacher-student relationship built on understanding, trust and respect. But how I can ask my students to understand, trust or respect me if I do not reveal to them who I am? And more importantly, how can I set a virtuous example for my students if I am not taking virtuous actions in my life?